Hey readers!
Little Frankie is officially 2 months old and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m getting a hang of this mom stuff…kinda. Every single day, this kid teaches me something new, not only about himself but about myself as well. Motherhood is…well, to put it quite frankly, a little insane. Between pregnancy and the delivery, no matter how well it all goes, you have to realize that your body and mind has pretty much been through war and back. And then over night, you’re just expected to be responsible for taking care of and raising this little tiny human! #nopressure
It’s been a whirlwind, let me tell you. And eye opening. And surprising.
Throughout the last 2 months, I’ve been keeping a list of things that caught me off guard about mom life. Some unusual and some not so unusual at all. Here you go!
How I kept expecting my baby to die: It sounds morbid but I know I’m not alone on this one. Although the rate of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) has declined about 70% since I was born (1990 babies represent!), I kept feeling this overwhelming sense of dread every single time I would go check on Frankie while he was sleeping. My scariest moment? It was day 2 or 3 of being home from the hospital. The hubby had taken Frankie into bed with him overnight so I could have some quiet time downstairs to pump and get a quick nap on the couch without being disturbed. I was exhausted and passed out almost immediately. I awoke to the sun shining and panic taking over my body. If the sun was up, that means hours had passed. I wasn’t awoken by the sound of a hungry baby. I wasn’t awoken by the hubby. Something must be wrong. I ran up the stairs, tears streaming down my face as I imagined the worst – little Frankie being lost in our sheets and being unable to breathe or cry out. I have never moved so fast in my life. I threw the door open, only to see Frankie and the hubby sound asleep, cuddled adorably next to each other. The sight of his little pacifier bobbing in and out of his mouth was enough to reassure me that everything was perfectly ok and that he had simply slept a few more hours than usual. I closed the door, sat on the steps outside our bedroom, and sobbed with happiness.
How I cried all the time: Everybody always asks how the pregnancy and the delivery went but people rarely ask how the first few weeks were after the baby arrives. Personally, I found the first 2 weeks after delivery harder than actually giving birth. The flood of emotions and hormones rushing through you during that time period is just insane. If you came to visit me at home during the first 2 weeks after Frankie was born, chances are I don’t remember much of your visit. It’s all a haze. All I remember is crying every single day, multiple times a day. I remember crying on the way home from the hospital when a Bryan Adams song came on the radio, telling the hubby between sobs ‘I have so much to teach little Frankie!!’. And then again later, in line at the pharmacy waiting to pick up his vitamin D drops, for absolutely no reason other than it was all just too much. It’s all apparently very normal, but I didn’t see it coming at all.
The time it takes to pump: Frankie wasn’t super into breastfeeding (more about this topic coming VERY soon) but I still wanted him to get as much breast milk as possible in conjunction to the formula I was supplementing him with. So, this means that every 3-4 hours I was hooking myself up to my Medela Freestyle (thanks hubby for insisting we invest in a really good quality one!) to pump my milk. It was long, hard and frustrating at first while my milk was still coming in and I would get discouraged when I would only get 10-20 millilitres in one sitting. But over time (and after investing in a hands-free pumping bra), I got it down from 1 hour to about 20 minutes. That being said, I still find that the time it takes to pump my measly 3-5oz and then wash all of my pumping equipment, is a little ridiculous. Frankie clearly prefers my milk to formula (though he luckily will eat anything I give him) so that is motivation enough for me right now to keep going.
The ‘wow you look tired’ and ‘enjoy these moments’ comments: I know people mean well, I really do. But just FYI, no new mom wants to be told how tired she looks. She is well aware of how she looks but she’s been a little busy learning how to keep a little human alive. Sleep and makeup are low on the priority list. Then come the “enjoy these moments” comments. I really don’t mind all that much because I’m seeing for myself just how quickly time is flying and just how quickly he is growing (slow down Frankie!!!) but when he’s wailing super loud or has had a 4th poop explosion that day, we just may not be in the right frame of mind to think “hmmm, I’m going to miss this one day”.
How well I function on 3 hours of sleep: I’m not sure if all of my partying days have paid off (dancing till 3am and then showing up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the office for 8am ready to conquer the day) or maybe it’s special mom-adrenaline that is being pumped through my body but damn, the amount of energy and patience I am able to muster with only 3-4 hours of sleep is seriously surprising!
How I need to be taken care of too: When Frankie was born, naturally it was all baby all the time, 24/7. And I didn’t and don’t mind this at all. But there came a point where I needed to remind the hubby that if I was taking care of the baby, then he needed to take care of me. Exactly a week after Frankie was born, we decided to venture out with our friends to see a drive-in movie (I was determined to try and keep living my life normally, baby and all!!). Truth be told, I barely watched the movie. I fussed over Frankie, making sure he was warm enough and struggling to get comfortable to breastfeed in the parked car. I was parched, hungry and starting to get frustrated. The hubby was having a great time with our friends, chatting away and passing snacks around without realizing how I was doing. Parenting definitely needs an adjustment period so I don’t blame him at all, but I needed to verbalize my needs in that moment, explaining that if I was putting all of my time and focus on Frankie, then the least he could do is open my water bottle to help me stay hydrated while my hands were full. As soon as I explained what I needed, he quickly stepped up, but it was important for me to verbalize that early on so that he would be more aware and reactive in the future.
How I needed to set a curfew: I love hosting! Cooking for a house full of people and organizing parties is what I thrive on. But I didn’t expect that to change after having a baby. While I still absolutely love doing this, the biggest thing that has changed is my need to set a time where I would kick people out of my house. It may sound rude, but I really can’t deal with a house full of people after 9pm anymore. Not only is the baby usually sleeping, but the hubby and I are exhausted too. The first couple of weeks after the baby was born, people were staying over until 10-11pm at night (or even showing up that late because they just assumed that Frankie was up at all hours) and I quickly needed to put that to a stop. My priority is to take care of Frankie and if I’m too exhausted to do so, then that’s a problem. I’ll reevaluate this once he starts sleeping his nights, but for now, this is just the way it needs to be.
Was there anything about mom life that was unexpected or surprising for you? If so, comment below! I need all of the preparation I can get!